Diary of a Pantheist

Every book has its acknowledgements and every end has a beginning... so this is mine... I had been thinking for awhile... "I already have a general livejournal account... why not have one just to sort my thoughts out?" So here it is. A thought. A creation. Bingo.

Ever since I was little, I've starved to know the truth... around thirteen it drove me to the Bible and Christianity... Searching has corrupted that pure belief... or rather has brought up many questions since. Like... why can't I see God? Why doesn't this make sense? Why are there so many other holy texts then? And ultimately... how do we pick apart the truth from so many other views? That's how I got here... being uncomfortable living my own life, crying out to God for THE answer; THE truth. That one thing that I can stick to knowing that I can apply it knowing it won't let me down. That it's from THE source. 

I've starved for something beyond what my eyes can see. I'm sure everyone has... but it's come to the point where I need to move in for the kill. I need to pick a goal and go after it instead of waiting at the sidelines for someone else to push me towards it.

'I' will be the one that will reach it. 'I' will be the one to push myself on until I can see the end of the tunnel.

Perhaps that's how I ended up in Borders today with "Conversations with God' by Neale Donald Walsch catching my eye. Ultimately I found it, got it, because that's what was meant to be. Neale had the same dilemma as I'm having now... needing to KNOW... needing to let it out. That is why God had me act on an impulse to look through this book and purchase it.

Now, if I don't understand something I'll pick it apart until I do. That's where this journal comes in. This journal is going to be my thoughts and translations online for my benefit and my record-keeping. Anything I come across that is useful, needs paraphrasing, etc, etc. will go in here.